This week WeKilledAmandaPalmer.com ran a contest on our twitter page (@WeKilledAFP) where we asked our followers to describe in one tweet (limited to 140 characters) how domesitication killed Amanda Palmer.
A winning tweet from all entries would be picked to win this spiffy “Domestication Kills” magnet by Paula Picard from Post War Trade (http://www.postwartrade.com/products/domestication-kills-magnet):
To enter the contest each tweet had to contain the twitter hashtag #WKAFP and had to be submitted by 11:59pm on Wednesday 8/26. There were no entry limits - as long as you were being creative and having fun!
Drum roll…
Congratulations to @lovehound for the clever, yet gruesome domestication death tweet:
laying there on the floor, watching the blood flow across the linoleum, amanda felt a tinge of guilt about leaving a mess behind.
Thanks to everyone who entered the twitter contest, we’ll be sure to run some more so if you’re not following @WeKilledAFP on twitter, now would be a good time to start!
Also don’t forget, the WKAP Book Death contest is still going on - you have until September 5th to submit entries (click here for more information)
Here are all the entries for the Domestication Kills contest in the order they were received:
sholmes672 she ironed herself to death. All that is left is an iron print on her face. or an iron sticking out of her head (ouch)
ajekofalltrades With enough pills, they’re all pliable, dead flesh.Her,she only had to be choked the one time & she snapped like a burning bra strap.
ajekofalltrades that was supposed to be an insane husband talking, k? Not me! Just letting the creativity flow.
ShiversTheNinja Her husband asked her to tend to the fire while the guests were out of the room. She never expected him to push her into it.
ajekofalltrades Dishes washed,children watching TV, he with HER at work, the Bell Jar on the nightstand & slipping down to greet her, an old friend.
sanarose Dresden Dolls singer died today in her home. Husband, author N.G. is said to have found her in the garden, stung to death by bees.
RachelCraves While simultaneously cooking & cleaning, AFP slipped on the freshly mopped floor and fell onto a meat cleaver. She’s no June Cleaver.
RachelCraves AFP was just weeding her garden when she fell into an open grave. Now the worms fertilize more than flowers.
Ardna55ac A delectable meal,indeed. Check the turkey…SLIP! Her brand new pumps and undetected cake batter on the floor didn’t mix.
Alkalune The children’s muddy tracks on the carpet were too much for AFP and she drowned her sorrows in a bottle of bleach.
ajekofalltrades Little did he know & little did it matter. Domestication kills, she wrote upon the letter, knowing that soon, she’d feel much better.
PGFShady Who the hell would say that trying to stop a fire of burning oil with water could kill you. Such a terrible lost. R.I.P Amanda Palmer
ajekofalltrades THe voices said there was a magical realm through the portal at the back of the stove. She tried in vain to explore it.
ajekofalltrades In a dog collar, leather straps & little else, bloody & broken, her ragdoll body surprisingly beautiful. A scrawled sign, “Play Dead”
insignifikunt Domestication didn’t kill her, but it bored her to the point where death seemed the only way out - she hung herself with hubby’s tie
Lexeme Her life in her husbands hands. He gave her all she desired, & it was desire that drove him, to wrap those hands around her throat.
desired_waste Domestication killed AFP by putting her head in an oven. Didn’t you see the button?
lovehound she weighed herself down/with heavy things from the house/and jumped in the pool.
essers Domestication killed AFP, turned her into just AP
lovehound mr. palmer had had enough. he had her in his sights, and was gunning for her. “locked and loaded,” he said to himself. “here i come.”
johndpoole suddenly, from out of the blue, the Winged Steed swooped down and knocked the gun out of mr. palmer’s hand with his hoof
johndpoole while Granny Scythe went Old Testament on Mr. Palmer’s ass with her flailing scythe!
lovehound kinsey thought mommy was being funny at first, because kinsey always thought it was funny when people fell, but mommy didn’t get up.
lauriepink She would have lived, if she’d just given in. There would have been treats, massages, long walks. That damned, damned choke chain.
lovehound miss palmer regrets she’s unable to lunch today.
cyndaelle I’m sorry, Amanda can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, she’ll get back to you. Eventually.
charliespats What could be more tragic than the loss of cookiedough for cookies?Nothing, she thought.Nothing. She dove in to taste what would never be the same again.
BuoySirUs She would have lived…had it not been for the timebomb hidden in the laundry hamper.
lovehound skeeter johnson rang the front bell, then went around back when she didn’t answer, where she hung from a tree like a chinese lantern.
ajekofalltrades Her note read,”I’m not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand.”Red, elegantly exploring fingers, tears on her porcelain grave
lovehound mix bleach with ammonia, wait for chlorine gas to form and hasten asphyxiation. wonder how long it will take husband to find you.
CourtneyFG i did it! she told herself the bin goes to the curb. but has she stood by to admire, the garbage truck forgot to brake and, crush.
cyndaelle Men are filthy creatures my dear, but you really shouldn’t have mixed that ammonia with the bleach while cleaning his bathroom today.
cyndaelle The cold night called for a hot bath. Candles, music & wine. Unfortunately, she left the CD player on the ledge, & jump went the cat.
lovehound paring strawberries, she let the knife slip along the inside length of her forearm. her flesh parted quietly. buddy barked to go out.
ajekofalltrades She wouldn’t listen. I said sit. I said lay down. I said roll over. I said beg. A choke chain helped, but she just. wouldn’t. listen.
johndpoole When suddenly, the Winged Steed kicked in the door and quickly applied a tourniquet, using his big horsey teeth…
lovehound in the end, the vacuuming pushed her over the edge. she wrapped a cord around her neck and jumped from the second-floor railing.
lionl She took the revolver and pulled the trigger on the kitchen, blood splattered over the granite countertops. The trophy wife act, over
lovehound she sat in the dark, the garage closed, the car running, thinking about everything she had to do, until everything slipped sideways.
lionl Amanda thought the closet would be a nice place to die. Surrounded by colorful fabrics, she took the final pill. So long, Mrs. Palmer
johndpoole When suddenly the Winged Steed swooped down just beneath her and … aw, you get the story…
lionl Fire, you say? She just didn’t want the neighbors to see the mess of dishes that last night’s dinner had left.
lovehound she dropped the babysitter off, then drove back home, parking outside. “crazy” was on the radio. bobby’s .57 magnum was in her mouth.
